Psalms of Nia

so I'm here again..

2009-05-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

writing because tonight was just THE night... I've had enough. This conclusion and end is killing me...but I know this is just for now and it too shall pass... as swiftly as it was brought on. Memory added to my file of disappointments.
In the mean time, Prince and I(music in general) have been reconnecting. I'm loving Limewire- instant satisfaction..... think of a song- any song- it's there!!
It seems to be the only thing I can rely on.

I do hope I'm 'happy' again soon- for me and not 'happy' just for others.

My steps are ordered..

2007-07-27T05:01:00.000-07:00

I have always believed this to be true. Even in my marriage- after 9yrs, I still see God's power and am amazed at how he brought us together as children. ..the God's realness is astounding and to visually see his works is a continued blessing. "even in the womb he molded me.......designing my future..." to be loved so much by not just someone , but the creator of the universe is empowering. It's enough to make you run after all the visions he place in you and accomplish them...

~Nia

2006-12-01T11:01:00.001-08:00

....I was created with a divine purpose ...I can do all things on my list...

my dance..

2006-11-03T07:40:00.000-08:00

Haiku Memoirs

Backwards tagged Haikus
Unfold past scenes stored within
..…Transcending minds eyes

Transcending minds, eyes
gaze upon forgotten times;
Pen strokes…heart beats… love

Pen strokes… heart beats… love
to the tune of rhythmic notes,
….sonnets of passion

Sonnets of passion..
dance along thighs… through pens… and
Backwards-tagged Haikus

~Psalms of Nia

Flowing

2006-10-27T18:23:00.000-07:00

Create in me ... a clean heart
make me over in your image..
harden not my heart to your call
and fill my being with praise

~Psalms of Nia '06

This Blog

2006-02-24T05:42:00.000-08:00

....someone once said to me "I write because I have so many voices, and they are all dying to be heard..." I laughed at that statement...however, I think, maybe that's why I write so loudly (on the net)... I have a number of journals, blogs, sites...covering every voice. At least I thought they covered every voice...and I thought every voice was different...until I heard them.
Actually, they're pretty much the same. I'm the same everywhere- ....an Artist.

Anyway, this blog is of my poetic work. My words. My thoughts. I think I live in between stanzas....

All work displayed is copywritten, please- don't copy or steal...I'm sure God has equipped you with talent just as great. Tune into yourself- Tune into God, and write.

.....the journey begins....

2006-02-10T13:21:00.000-08:00

I am a black man
You can not stop my purpose
…this is for living

I am a black man
You can not stop my progress
….this is for movement

I am a black man
I Run… I Fight.. Stand and WIN.
…this is for freedom

~Psalms of Nia ‘06

John Carlos 1968 Olympic Bronze Medalist, 200 Meter Race1969 NCAA Track & Field ChampionJohn Carlos was born in Harlem, New York in 1945. After graduating from Machine Trade and Medal High School, he was awarded a full track and field scholarship to East Texas State University (ETSU). He attended ETSU for one year, single-handedly winning the schools first and only track and field Lone Star Conference Championship. After ETSU, he matriculated to San José State University.During his stay at San José State University, he participated in the 1968 Mexico Olympics and won the bronze medal in the 200 meters. During the victory ceremony, John and Tommy Smith raised a black gloved fist in protest against racism and economic depression for all opposed peoples. This "Silent Protest" was voted as the sixth most memorable event of the century.
http://as.sjsu.edu/legacy/john.htm

Today

2005-10-25T13:53:00.000-07:00

there are no words to describe what i feel..........

Silence

Haunted

2005-10-12T07:06:00.000-07:00

taken by surprise
mentally swept…
to the sound of your voice
…drifting through waves of emotions
causing streams
to become oceans

…in storm

I am taken
In feeling
…in action
…in thought
Unwillingly…. captive
to past lives..
lies pass…
my sight is short- water consumes…
memories drowned out by love
but love by hate
and hate
by recognition

20/20

…was on, when I awakened..
this time not hind
decisions….
processed….

“good bye……”

~Psalms of Nia 10/05

2005-09-07T13:58:00.000-07:00

I sat with intentions to write a poem…Instead- I wrote my soul

Deliver me from my folly…
Deliver me from unjust persecution
I am asking you to hear me
Have mercy on me- and move
Move swiftly
I feel I am going to be devoured by the rage of the land
The unjust of the land are attacking me
I can see their teeth, and feel the heat from their
Breath
They want to taste my blood and laugh
Laugh at all I’ve been saying
About you, … my savior, my deliverer
I am afraid and am clinging to you…Draw nearer to me
Surround me and take me up….
Carry me to safety,
Life me in your arms and fight my battle
I can not fight them.
I need you to fight for me.
I feel crippled.
Helpless
and dumb….
I can not speak…when I’m asked “are you ok?”
I have no words. “I’m alive....”
I try to be brave and keep a ‘happy’ face
…but I am a lost child inside, scared…
the darkness wants to consume me
but I know you alone are God....
and I'm sure
it can be worse....

Rainfall

2005-08-08T05:54:00.000-07:00

I wrote this sorta on an ‘improv’ tip but I’ve grown to love it. It’s the space my mind has been in for a few days.

Rainfall

He fell on me
and I was covered Covered
with his heat
Covered with his power
....Covered by him

Him?
....my shelter
....my forgiver
....my redeemer

Redeemer?
Delivered my soul
Vindicated my heart
Avenged my love

Love?
.... cleared my mind
.... Renewed my spirit
.... saved my life

Life?
Fulfilled.
All
Because...

He fell on me
and I was covered
Covered with his heat
Covered with his power
....covered by him

~Psalms of Nia ‘05

Growth

2005-08-08T05:42:00.000-07:00

Life seeds, poured upon my fertile mind,
mature into past lives….
Containing wisdoms of treaded paths,
as my mirror turn into an hourglass

~Psalms of Nia '04

Ode to my selfishness

2005-08-08T05:39:00.000-07:00

*Explicit word used often, please don’t read if you’ll take offense

Ode to my selfishness

Born within my being
I
Struggle to name thee
Might as well,
…. since you ARE…,
make you a part of me…

‘Bitch’
Is what you prefer to be called;
‘Master’
Is what I feel you are
‘Destruction’
Is what you’re prone to do
‘Pain’
Is what I feel when I think of you

And yet………….
I use you all the time…….
Or… you use me?
……I allow you…don’t I?
Or… you take me?

“My Bitch”
Is what you say… I am

I am

~Psalms of Nia 12/04

*Don’t get it twisted…in no way do I appreciate being called a “Bitch” by any one other than myself. LOL… But this was an introspective piece I wrote after a conversation I had with my best friend. I looked at myself from the outside and realized I was acting like a total ass during the discussion…. she forgave me, but I had to pen this afterward.
~Nia

Just because…

2005-08-08T05:30:00.000-07:00

I love off late night phone conversations….
Transcending state lines and times…
Laying upside down in bed
..listening to you breathe…
excited about this conversation you lead-
as you speak, I’m caught in my head
playin yours and seeing our lives- how it could be
if you love me… like I love you.
I picture your lips….your kiss
Which you reserved for that occasion by the door…
‘why not the floor?’
I think, but too late to be upset…. or speak
Because I’m fallin’ and want to fall
Into you.
Into what your words provide
Hoping your heart is in them…
… my trust is in them
Reservations aside
Over thinking aside
Consequences aside
Because I love off knowing there is much more to you
….for me to love

~Psalms of Nia ‘04

Work in progress

2005-07-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

Silence

I mourned openly,
about the plights of my people
…the struggles of our day to day

I screamed for Change..
Repentance
Reformation
Education

I cried…. ‘Karma’
‘Next lifetime’
Humility
Wisdom

I bellowed… ‘Love’
Progression
Movement
Independence

I mourned openly,
about the plights of my people
…the struggles of our day to day

I mourned openly…
but
lived in silence…

~Psalms of Nia

I do need to pen something new

2005-06-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

...but my past has been speaking to me these days....
Can you believe it, I have not picked up a pen in four days...
Soon. In God's time.

Prospective

I walked off into the world when I was 15....
because I knew all i needed to know to survive.

At times i looked back, questioning my decisions on the road i chose to follow....
but going back to the fork seemed a waste of time...
so i moved on...
hoping eventually this road would either lead me to that unknown location...
What was I looking for?
My destiny...
God's destiny...
My happiness...
...and if not lead me there, then maybe offer a u-turn or circle back...
-take me back to the main deciding road so i can now make a left instead of that right.
But now, I've walked, circled and turned so many times...
i don't know if I'm even in the same state,
emotionally.

I walked off into the world when I was 15....
because I knew all i needed to know to survive.
I woke up in the world when I was 27....
because I realized survival is not enough...

~Psalms of Nia ‘04

Finding my voice...

2005-06-14T11:28:00.000-07:00

We have seen
Paradise
Over &
Over
&
we have
lost
it
every
time.

Is it
the same
Paradise
We
Lose
So constantly
In
Ourselves?

~Alice Walker

This is where my mind has been lately

2005-06-09T06:14:00.000-07:00

Untold Stories

Buju Banton

While I’m Living

Thanks I’ll Be Giving

To the Most High You know,

Chorus:

I am living while I am living to the father I will pray

Only he knows how we get through everyday

With all the hike in the price

Arm and leg we have to pay

While our leaders play

Verse 1:

All I see people a rip and a rob and a grab

Tief never love fe see tief wid long bag

No love for the people who a suffer real bad

Another toll to the poll may God help we soul

What is to stop the youths from get out of control

Full up of education yet no own no payroll

The clothes on my back have countless eyehole.

I could go on and on the full has never been told

Repeat Chorus

Verse 2:

Who can afford to run will run

But what about those who can’t…they will have to stay

Opportunity a scarce, scarce commodity

In these times I say… When mama spend her last and send you go class

Never you ever play

It’s a competitive world for low budget people,

Spending a dime while earning a nickel

With no regards to who it may tickle

My cup is full to the brim

I could go on and on the full has never been told

Repeat Chorus

Verse 3:

All I see people a rip and a rob and a grab

Tief never love fe see tief wid long bag

No love for the people who a suffer real bad

Another toll to the poll may God help we soul

What is to stop the youths from get out of control

Full up of education yet no own no payroll

The clothes on my back have countless eyehole

Could go on and on and the full has never been told

(On and On)

Though this life keep getting me down

Don’t give up now

Got to survive somehow

Could go on and on and the full has never been told

Repeat Chorus

Verse 4:

Who can afford to run will run

But what about those who can’t…they will have to stay

Opportunity a scarce, scarce commodity

In these times I say… When mama spend her last and send you go class

Never you ever play

It’s a competitive world for low budget people,

Spending a dime while earning a nickel

With no regards to who it may tickle

My cup is full to the brim

I could go on and on the full has never been told

I could go on and on the full has never been told

I could go on and on….

The full has never….

Been…..
Toooooold.

To be frank, dear Lord

2005-06-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

I'm going through my poetry here at work.
...feeling some typa way today....
not depressed but sad...questioning...
Anyway- this sums it up.

To be frank, dear Lord

For three days I’ve thought about you…
Night and day…….day and night
But……..I-DON’T-WANT-TO-TALK-TO-YOU
Infact,
I’m feeling kinda pissed with you
………angry enough to fight……….
You
Lied
To
Me

I thought you loved me……………
……………you said so
and I took your word…………
I took your words and consumed them
Living off of their nourishment
Living off of their promises
Living off of their …………love

……………………………….right now,
I’m feelin’ “sometypa way”
………….Better yet,
I’m feelin tricked……….
mislead, unloved, alone…
And basically……………………………….fucked……

…………Now if I must
I will inhale your air
………If I must
I will feel the heat from your sun on my face
And if I must…..
I will feed my family by the means you provide
………………………
if I must
………………..
but
I don’t want to talk to you…………..
So
Stop
Calling
My
Name

My poetry...my dance

2005-06-06T16:44:00.000-07:00

soon to come